. . . Well, I Got Better
Bedevere: How do you know she is a witch?
Peasant: She looks like one. [Crowd indistinctly shouts]
Bedevere: Bring her forward!
Girl: I’m not a witch.
Bedevere: But you are dressed as one…
Girl: They dressed me up like this. [Crowd murmurs]
Girl: And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one.
Bedevere: [inspects the nose and confirms] Well?
Peasant: Well, we did do the nose.
Bedevere: The nose?
Peasant: And the hat. She’s a witch!
Peasant Crowd: Burn her!
Bedevere: Did you dress her up like this?
Peasant Crowd: No, no, no! [beat] Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart.
Bedevere: What makes you think she is a witch?
Peasant: Oh, she turned me into a newt! [Bedevere gives him a disbelieving look]
Bedevere: A newt? [Silence]
Peasant: Well, I got better.
Peasant Crowd: Burn her anyway!
[Script excerpt from Monty Python and the Holy Grail]
Terry Jones in Monty Python & the Holy Grail
I have a love/hate relationship with The Crucible. While I love the work Arthur Miller created, I hated the truth it revealed as I experienced it back then. I read the play within a year of what had happened to make me feel as if I had lived my own version of The Crucible. Well that and I was 12 at the time. I had been on the receiving end of a false accusation when I was in 8th grade by a small group of girls in school. It was a bitter pill to learn how like wildfire their completely false words spread and burned me. Why else would I still remember it all as if it happened yesterday. I suppose the past had to come up with my interest in this particular production and of course my sister bringing it up. The teachers did not believe or support the accusation, mostly because they already knew the truth, however, many of my peers and friends did believe that false accusation. That hurt the way only a young girl can be hurt when learning the truth of what a ‘fair-weather-friend’ actually means. It was mean-girl-bullying before there was a name for it, but I would not succumb to it. Even though they hurt me with their claims, I was too young to have known how inconsequential it all was. I stubbornly fought back the only way I knew how, by refusing to let them see how they hurt me, nor would I shrink from them by avoiding them or seeming to be shamed by anything they said.
Then they recruited one of my younger sisters in an attempt to convince me to admit publicly (on the playground) that I did what they were accusing me of doing. And if I did admit to it on their terms, well then all would be forgiven. And they would all be my friends again. Needless to say, even at that naive age, I was the person then that I am today, stubborn. I also, no longer wanted any of those girls for friends. Had I done the thing, I would have indeed admitted to it from the start, but my outrage at their false accusation would never allow me to admit to something I did not do, nor did I attempt to reason with them.
I try to be the person that admits when I am wrong (not always in a good way according to hubs) and take responsibility for what I did. In hindsight, it was not the desire to be honest, but my anger that would not let me consider their ‘solution’ to the problem they created. What a trap, tell a lie, pretend I did what I did not do and thereby make myself, publicly, a liar? Even privately, I could never do that. I am sure my determination to be uncompromisingly true made it difficult for my sister. We had not talked about it since it happened, but oddly enough, or not, it came up last year when she helped me at WonderCon. She told me how sorry she was for her part in the whole thing, but I had never blamed her for any of it then or now. The whole thing was silly and stupid.
That experience did make me more resolute to live my life honestly and in a way that would make it difficult for anyone to believe me anything but what I appear to be. Fortunately and unlike the characters in The Crucible, it did not ruin my life. However, when you are twelve, things have a way of being bigger than they really are so when I read Arthur Miller’s The Crucible the following year, I climbed right up on that metaphorical cross, in my mind anyway. (The never ending influence of Catholic culture.)
Like many students, I read, studied, wrote papers and attended live performances of The Crucible. I had plans to attend this play in London but life conspired against it, so resigned myself to never seeing it. When it was announced that Digital Theater would be filming the play, my hopes rose that I would be able to watch this particular production of The Crucible. Why this production? Note: I don’t say performance, because like most live events, when repeated, the performance will differ each time. Does it really need to be pointed out that I am not alone in my appreciation of the artistic talents and abilities of Richard Armitage? His talents, reputation and obvious draw would ensure a successful attendance and ticket sales to make the play economically feasible. Together with his and the whole cast incredible performances, from what looks like consistently sold out shows, critical acclaim, I cannot help but think this production will be the longest lived.
On a lighter note . . .
Despite the digital dilemma of problems making this performance of The Crucible available to the masses, I still wanted to see it and purchased it last Saturday. After work, my husband (usually referred to as ‘hubs’) wanted me to join him for dinner and a movie. I asked if we could watch The Crucible at home and he agreed. We picked up dinner and went home. I should mention that my hubs is a terrible tease, he takes every opportunity to do so with my interest in this play as well. Even so, he has a great sense of humor and does make me laugh about it more often than not. When we got home, had taken the dogs out, fed them and put the take-out dinner on the coffee table in front of the television. We then settle in to watch The Crucible.
Hubs kicks back after work
Hubs before he broke his leg in a football game.
It is everything I had hoped for and more in the production and performances. I am certain it would have been better live. I wonder if I could hold back the emotion it brings up if seen live? Viewing a recording of it was so powerful and I do not mean by one actor, the whole group was strong. It had to be for the whole play to be as good as it is. Only as strong as the weakest link, right? Before intermission, while no one is speaking, my hubs drops, what to me is a bombshell. “We studied this play in high school . . . I was in a performance of it as well.” What!?! Shut the Front Door! What? I didn’t know him in high school, we grew up in different states, over 600+ miles apart. I knew he was an impressive academic (better than I was by miles) and athlete. Football, basketball and track. I also knew he was in drama classes, plays, but he rarely talks about those experiences, even though when we first married, he still had a bunch of drama make-up and props in a trunk. I learned of several accounts of his activities, most of it about sports from his family, newspaper clippings and a scrapbook his mother put together. There are also my first had accounts, more than a few and some horrifying, highlights of games played with his friends. Mostly what I refer to as ‘jungle-ball’ where he plays basketball (‘shirts and skins’ to tell who is on what team) on the asphalt. It is a typical display of testosterone run rampant and I admit that I occasionally watch and enjoy the display, but it can be brutal, someone almost always ends up in the emergency room. Back to The Crucible, I had never really heard much about his drama classes/play experiences. He wasn’t going to tell me now either. What part did he play? He says he doesn’t remember, but when I ran through a few of the parts, he said he was the only male in most of the scenes. Not that I believe it was so long ago he doesn’t remember. Eventually, after my endless questions, we had stopped at the intermission so I could grill him until I accepted, the subject was now closed. (sigh) Nothing for it but to go back to The Crucible.
Note: this was written the last week in March, but had to work, could not finish to post it then. To date, I have not had time to watch the second half of The Crucible.